Thursday, October 22, 2009


So I'm finishing up this week alone here at the Alamo; I'll be honest, I don't much like it here when it's empty... it echoes, and then there's that ethnic presence too, that seems to make white folks like me uncomfortable. Good thing Jaydee's car looks like a cop car! Turns out the natives aren't too fond of the Law Man-- so much so they walk on the other side of the street now. I put on my big girl pants, poured a few stiff drinks, and I've managed to soldier through.

Jaydee is off on a cruise, with cabana bois rubbing sunscreen on his back, as he tries to escape the harsh Florida fall weather. It's that same weather that has us insulating the basement. It's mostly done, and unfortunately Fran and Getterduns had to re-do where they hung the TV mount because it was too low. Notice that awesome caulk job they did to fixor it up!

The crew is talking a break, especially since Scott the painter dude is having heart surgery (good call getting that taken care of, chief). And in other news, Fran's wife set his pillows on fire in the driveway. Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY WERE DIRTY! Jaydee is fortunate I have not set anything on fire in his absence.

That's partially because I have Carlton Meowpants for company, since he's officially moved in. The meowing at all hours of the night has mostly stopped (bet Jaydee is missing that action while on his cruise!). I got my classy cat to stop drinking out of the toliet, and I've managed not to get ragingly drunk enough where I'm vomiting in the toliet, or out in the streets screaming and busting beer bottles. Baby steps.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Wall of Shame and Agony

From the beginning of this whole project I knew that we had some work to be done on the back wall of the house. The beautiful stained glass window was leaking water like a screen door on a battleship, and we figured we'd have to replace just the bathroom portions or caulk it up and be fine.

As the earlier post showed we were VERY VERY wrong. I knew that I had some work to be done on this house but this was almost too much. I started wondering what I had gotten myself into. I was spending massive amounts of funds that I had allocated to other projects and it seemed like there was no end in sight. I had 3/4 of a house and the rest was utter shit that had to be ripped out and repaired. The mold inspector said I had water damage, how much, noone knew. A mold guy said "You have mold!" and I knew that I had some back there, but when we gutted the bathroom everything just came to a head and we all knew that this wall was utterly destroyed.

So Fran and Company started ripping apart my house turning it into a convertible.

For almost an entire week they ripped out the old and rotten plywood, the previous people who redid that wall had used standard board instead of Pressure Treated so any water or mold had plenty of places to grown and breed.

With so much water pouring into the house because not only the previous Savage Rapists didn't pickup and maintain this house the people who bought, sold, and flipped property didn't either. Years of water pouring into the window and seeping down to all cracks and crevices of that back wall ate away at not only the plywood but the studs as well. All of this goes back to just one thing: Install a Gutter and it will save your house.
Left side of the house:

Right Side of the house:

After almost 3 days of ripping out old stucco, that stuff was HEAVY, and reframing, reinforcing, and reviving that back wall with putting in PT studs and PT plywood with nails that could pierce tank armor (I better be getting a tax credit for this), the outside of the back wall was starting to shape up into something usable.

They knew that they couldn't rip out the entire wall at one time and took it piece by piece. Ripping out the old, putting in new studs if applicable (really only near the bathroom was it that bad with old termite and water damage, and putting on new material.
You can see that we ripped out the stained glass monstrosity that has caused all of this mess and boarded it up. Yes I'm living in a wooden shack at this time.

I have to say it was disheartening in the least to come home to this house with Tequila and just slump against the wall in a mess when you see your bathroom like this

I had several soul searching moments here in these 2 weeks while they slowly rebuilt my house. I questioned my impatience and my need to buy this house. I ranted and raved about the previous owners all 4 of them going back to the old lady who let that damn electrican remodel her house. I cried, I raged, I threw stuff. Tequila helped me in so many ways that I could never thank her enough for being there for me. In the end I picked myself up and said "This house will not defeat me, this is only wood and brick, this will get done." and at the end of week 2 I had this:

A brand new wall full of modern concrete, PT board, and goodness. All that mold, mildew, and rotten wood GONE and repalced. Any problems with the outside had vanished because I destroyed it at it's heart. Stabbing the savage beast and all that jazz.

At this point I knew "This won't be so bad after all."

Friday, September 25, 2009


So I'm officially moved in now, as of this week. My crazy Aunt forced my hand to move sooner than I anticipated, do to her lipping off at U.Ted and him being like "YOU AND YOUR 6 CATS NEED TO GO"! I shit you not, 6 cats. To be fair, one of them, Carlton Meowpants, is mine. I left him here when I moved to Minneapolis, and thank Allah that Jaydee earlier that week gave the big thumbs up to him joining us at the Alamo. Next week will probably be the super fun drive(he hates car rides and yowls loudly) from Palmetto to Tampa (roughly an hour), so Mr Meowpants can grace our evolving abode with his catastic presence.

I think Jaydee will get to some of the exciting changes, along with PIXPIXPIX!!!11!! going on here at the Alamo, soon (that is, if Dungeons and Dragons and World of Warcraft dont sap all of his energies). I'm still not sure how I feel about the Jalapeno trim, but it's got a spicy name, and it's better than the pepto bismal-ish color it was before. It's moving forward thanks to Fran and his troupe of Getterduns (one of which had a girlfriend zombiefied on muscle relaxers last weekend helping him apply stucco to our BRAND SPANKIN' NEW BACK WALL-- that's mold free).

Currently, we have a toliet in our dining room; come on, what makes dining more luxurious than when you dont need to get up to go to the restroom?! But, it's not actually hooked up, so that's probably a poor idea. Well, frankly I'm thinking of keeping it there. It's directly across from the fridge, also located in the dining room, so it seems like a prime location...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

You got mail!

Sorry about the lack of updates, not much going on except them finishing the back wall which is a HUGE post into and of itself. I put in a mailbox and now I can receive mail from whomever the hell really wants to send me mail. Apparently I had to write a letter to my insurance provider because they couldn't send me mail and paperwork got returned.

Dear Insurance Provider Drone,

A. I do live here
B. There wasn't one here before
C. I don't have a mailbox because I didn't put one in, had other priorities besides a mailbox
D. Don't take away my insurance.



PS yes that's a hubcap on my lawn.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Smell of Wood

It smells like cedar in the master bedroom/bathroom, guest bedroom. A marked improvement over how it was before they took down that wall; mold & rot (much like how I imagine Rosie O'Donnell's gunt to smell).

Fridge came in this week. Always nice to be able to have perishable foods again (IT FEELS SO NICE HERE IN THE 20th CENTURY!) . The toilet, which came this week does NOT have a beer holder (one of my friends said that technically, whomever sitting on it is the "Beerholder"). However, SOMEONE thought it was a good idea to pay money for installation instead of having one of the MULTIPLE construction workers running around the house do it. Leaves less monies to buy creepy dolls. Or go to Taco Bus, one of our fantastic nearby establishments. A few other nearby establishments that I do not now if I will patronize: Ebony Beauty Supply, the prostitutes outside the pawn shop, or the Wendy's at the corner (I barely trust their chicken nuggets anyway, much less at that location).

Anyway, back to this toilet. Allegedly it can suck down a fetus and is THE BEST. Notice the candle on the back: it is a light for hope... HOPE that more tiles dont fall down in the shower before Fran or another Getterdun fixors it with grout action. I liked the candle better when I was using it in the shower on day 2 of the occupation because one of the Getterduns fuckored up a fuse. It made my routine shower feel more romantic by the warm glow. And really, even when alone, who DOESNT need a more romantic shower?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Moving Day: Enter the Alamo!

A bit out of order (you can thank Tequila and blogger for that)but we finally moved into the Alamo over the last weekend. Four trips from south to haul an ancient refridgerator, which is now going to the junk yard (THANKS BEST BUY!), and all the rest of my crap into the house.

Here's Tequila doing what she does best:

While all this was going Fran's crew of geterdone's tore apart my back wall of my house to identify how bad the water damage was. Needless to say I was crushed by the results.

Literally the entire wall from the stain glass window (remember that pretty thing?) down to the base of the studs was stained black with mold and mildew. I know I claimed my house had no mold but this was altogether a different animal.

As you can see the shower is completely fucked to hell and beyond. All of this is due to that stupid stained glass window that Tequila loves so much. This damage extended not only to the bathroom but to the two rooms adjoining the bathroom: Master and Guest Bathroom. I told Fran and Crew to TEAR DOWN THIS WALL in my most impressive Ronald Reagan voice. So they obliged me with crowbar, sledgehammer, and sheer force of will. Down it came and three trailer loads later the back of my house is barren studs and rotten plywood. All this because the stucco on the exterior of my house was loose and the more we dug at it the more we realize that this house has been hacked apart and redone dozens of times that just slapping on a coat of stucco would cause the wall to come peeling off and crashing down.

Am I stressed? Very. This wasn't what I expected to have to fix and it won't be cheap. I have to take time off of work and burn some vacation but it must be done. Big picture and long view of the end solution is what I must look at. Break this project into pieces and deal with it bit by bit. There's allot more to go over and I will upload some more pix when I can find them.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Day Three of The Occupation of The Alamo

So, the basement's stripped down to cinderblock (including the kickass bar that was down there, but that just means we hafta build a better one now), and the whole back inside wall being gone. No, it wasnt Davey Crockett and his coonskin cap (although, I do really need to get one now... shit, with all of the other costumes I have that falls right in line. It was the team of getterduns, led by Fran.

They all dig me cause I have fantastic cans and I made em chocolate chip-pecan-caramel cookies. My first instinct was to bring a cooler of beer instead, but then because of a combination of heart ailments and terms of probation, they wouldn't have been able to take advantage of that.

I'll say this, props to them for being able to save my stained glass window in the bathroom I had fallen in love with (once I put back together the peices of my shattered heart from accepting the bar had to go).

Anyway, it's night three, we've both had meltdowns today, we are exhausted but at least have some sembalence of a kitchen now that we've unpacked it. After seeing the back of your house ripped up, a person needs to get some sort of feeling of accomplishment to keep the hairdryer out of the bath tub.